Deliciously Dysfunctional
by Annie Barde
Summary: I am writing to cordially invite you to accompany five of your other fellow students to a counseling session this entire weekend, as conducted by Professor McGonagall." .:Will eventually end up in Dramione:.


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_Author's Note_: I know, a new story? But I thought this would be something totally different and a start to finally writing longer chapters and stop using "He" and "She" for awhile. I want to keep continuing this story; which I already know will be ten chapters. At least. And I do mean, _chapters_. BTW, this story takes place after HBP, but Dumbledore **DOES NOT DIE**. And Snape doesn't flee from the castle with all the Death Eaters. Everyone is _fine_.

So, read, review, and enjoy!

X.X. Annie

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**Chapter One: In Counseling Quarters**

It was a sunny Friday morning at Hogwarts. All the students were enjoying their breakfast in the Great Hall, expecting the post and a full schedule ahead of them. Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny were all sitting at their large Gryffindor table, eating cereal and toast.

Owls came flying in, their beaks full of letters, news, and parcels from their families. School had just started two weeks ago, and students (especially the younger ones) still felt homesick.

Harry's snowy white owl Hedwig came with a single letter. She flew down to her owner, nipping his wrist affectionately as he fed her a bit of sliced fruit. He had been half-expecting it to be from Hagrid, but he had already sent his traditional back-to-school letter. It was from the Hogwarts Headmaster himself, Professor Dumbledore.

He sighed inwardly. He should have known. He was used to getting private letters and messages by Dumbledore by now.

Opening the envelope, he read the parchment carefully:

"Mr. Potter:

I am writing to cordially invite you to accompany five of your other fellow students to a counseling session this entire weekend, as conducted by Professor McGonagall. If you wish to participate, please send a response with your owl by the end of breakfast.

If you do indeed accept this invitation, please note that you will be excused from all your classes. Your teachers will not assign you homework and you will have no need to study. I have informed all of them of this session and they have agreed to this condition.

After breakfast, you will meet with your fellow classmates in Professor McGonagall's office, should they wish to join.

Sincerely,

Professor Dumbledore"

Harry looked up to meet his friends' faces. He was surprised to see they all received the same letter.

"What do you suppose this is all about?" asked Ron.

"Counseling _session_?" Hermione asked, confused. "As far as I know, I have _no _problems."

"Why me?" asked Ginny simply.

Harry didn't say anything.

-

Draco was furious. He, like Harry, Ron, Hermione, and Ginny had received the same letter. A counseling session? Really?

What, did they think he was psycho or something? Sure, he was stuck in a bit of an unpleasant situation last year with the Dark Lord, but that didn't make him loony. So maybe he was disturbed. He was a _teenager_ for God's sake. Every teenager has _some_ kind of angst. Now all he had to do was decide if he would actually reply to this nonsense.

His thoughts were interrupted by the persistence of one Pansy Parkinson. Pansy Parkinson was a Draco-driven girl, who did nothing but annoy him, and her little act was getting _old_. Like six years overdue. But she didn't care, and he had the sick pleasing feeling that he _loved_ being worshipped, even if it _was_ by _her_.

"What's that you got there, Draco?" she asked politely. Sweetly.

_Ew_.

"N-nothing," he said, trying to stuff the letter quickly in his pocket. Unfortunately, she had seen and snatched it out of his hands.

She smoothed the paper's wrinkles, her brows rising in surprise as her eyes flicked back and forth, taking in the words.

"Well, isn't _this_ a coincidence?"

He glanced at her. "What?" _Please don't say it_, _please_…

"_I_ got the same letter!" His fears were confirmed. Beside him, he swore he heard Crabbe laughing loudly. Draco shot him a glare, to which Crabbe started coughing, covering his giggles.

"Y-you did?" God, was he _stuttering_ now? "Are you actually going to go to this…_session_?" he asked, glad to hear a more firm tone coming from his voice.

"Sure," she laughed, "it's not like I have anything to hide. Why don't we go to this thing together? Unless," her eyes narrowed, "you're still _in_ with You-Know-Who."

So, she could still pine for him after what happened last year, and still throw it back in his face? _Devious girl_.

"I've got nothing to hide," he said confidently. "I'm as clean as anyone."

"Draco, your whole family's been involved with a line of _Death Eaters_. If you've got nothing to hide, I don't know exactly what you've been playing at this whole time."

Draco thought back to the train ride conversation he had with her and his friends at the beginning of last year.

Pansy Parkinson really _was_ devious.

"_Fine_," he said through gritted teeth, and grabbing a quill from Goyle across the Slytherin table (who knew that _Goyle_ would carry a quill on him?), he scrawled a reply to Dumbledore, stating he would come.

Pansy just smiled at him. "Lovely."

-

"So are we going to go?" Ginny asked after the four of them had contemplated over their letters long enough.

"What could McGonagall possibly ask you, Gin? How many boys you've pulled your entire time here at Hogwarts?" sniggered Ron. Ginny's face flushed.

"How dare you, you – "

Hermione cut in. "If she's going to ask me why I've wanted to take Muggle Studies, I'll – "

"They won't," Harry assured her.

"How do _you _know?" Ron exclaimed. "For all you know, McGonagall will probably want to know how you've managed not to _die_ at the end of every year."

Harry shrugged. "I really don't care. I'll go, if you guys do. I mean, think! No _classes_."

"A whole day without seeing Snape," said Ron dreamily, as he wrote his reply. "Yeah, I think I _will_ go."

He looked at Hermione expectantly.

"_What_?" she snapped. "I still don't think I should go."

"_That's_ why you _should_. You're worn out." Harry said.

"In case you haven't noticed, Harry, it's our last year, and I really don't think canceling my classes for a _counseling session_ will improve my marks anymore than _me_ actually doing work."

"Hermione, give yourself a break. Everyone knows you have top marks. It's just _one_ weekend."

"So why don't I see _you_ sending your answer, then?"

Harry put his quill to the back of the letter and wrote his reply. "There. See? I'm going, Ron's going…Ginny, you'll go, right?" He looked at Ginny, who looked unsure herself.

She turned to Hermione. "Come on, Herm. Aren't you a _tad_ curious to see who else was invited?"

Hermione sighed. They weren't going to let this go.

"Okay. _Okay_." She glared at Harry for a moment, but she too, had written her reply.

Ginny smiled at the sight of her best friend writing, and she bent down to do the same. Once she had finished, the four of them set off their owls with their replies, which instantly flew to Dumbledore to deliver them.

Harry thought he could see Dumbledore smiling in their direction.

-

Breakfast was over. All the students started filing out, heading to their classes. The four Gryffindors made their way to McGonagall's office, totally unaware of who else would meet them there.

Hermione unfortunately lagged behind by the weight of her course books at her side, and the boys carried several of her each books as Ginny led them on.

As he walked, Harry thought about Dumbledore's intention for this counseling session. It didn't seem like such a Dumbledore idea, but then again, Dumbledore was an odd man. And why did he invite Ron and Hermione? Was it because they were his best friends? And why Ginny? Was it really for the amount of boyfriends she had or because she was a Weasley or some other odd reason?

They headed around a corner and up several flights of stairs leading to McGonagall's office.

"Are we there yet?" asked Ron, to Hermione's annoyance. After all, he wasn't carrying _that_ many books.

"Unfortunately, Weasley," came the cold, drawling tone of Draco Malfoy. Harry was surprised to see Pansy Parkinson standing beside him, smiling, and not very nicely, either.

"What are you doing here?" Harry spat at them.

"We're here for the counseling session, Potter," Pansy simpered. "We were invited."

Looking round, Draco noticed Hermione and Ginny. "Aww, the Trio becomes a Quartet?"

Ginny crossed her arms haughtily. "Actually, no, Malfoy. We're here for the session as well."

Draco's mouth dropped open.

"And I am _so_ pleased to see the six of you here," came the voice of Professor McGonagall, who poked her head out the door to see her students.

"Do come in," she said, opening the door more widely for them, and without saying anything, they all trudged into her office grudgingly.

-

She sat down at the desk in the corner, and gestured for them to sit in the six chairs in front of her. They did. She smiled at all of them in a very un-McGonagall way.

"I think I can speak for all of us when I ask _what_ we are doing here?" demanded Draco. Harry was quite glad actually. Although he wouldn't admit that out loud.

"Surely you got Professor Dumbledore's letter, Malfoy?" she asked crisply.

"Now," she said glancing at them warily, "we've asked that you come to this counseling session, because we feel that you've…ah…been quite _intriguing_ to watch grow up in the last six years. Yes, even _you_, Miss Parkinson. (Pansy closed her mouth angrily.) And now that we feel you're in your seventh year, with the exception of _you_, Miss Weasley, you should feel comfortable enough to discuss your personal life with us, being your educators in magic for a good portion of your lives."

"And, by the way, Malfoy, your father actually approved of this meeting, we've asked him already, so there will be no use in protesting."

Draco closed his mouth angrily too.

"Now, shall we begin?"

They all reluctantly gave a nod, not wanting to cause anymore problems. At least, not for now.

"Good."

To Be Continued…


End file.
